spaceship no future

Why you should vote for Nader/LaDuke. And FLUFFY BUNNIES

kill kill kill vote vote vote Some of my sniveling liberal friends are simply aghast that I plan to vote for the Green Party. “A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush,” they say. To which I usually reply, “I hate you. Fuck you and your mother, you mimsy reformist sellout pantywaist. Also, fuck you.” In my more lucid moments, though, this is my response:
  • If the Green Party gets 5% of the total votes this year, then next time around they qualify for beaucoup federal funds.
  • If you live in a state where you know Bush is going to win, then voting for Nader does not hurt Gore at all. It has something to do with a quirk of the U.S. electoral sytem called the Electoral College, and you were supposed to learn about it in grade school, you plebe.
  • Bill Clinton was a “liberal Democrat” and he presided over the wholesale dismantling of the welfare system. The Clinton administration also was responsible for more U.S. military actions abroad than the Reagan administration. And so on.
  • There’s something very heartwarming about a political party that is openly antagonistic towards corporate interests and unfettered capitalism, supports the rights of workers and unions, and unabashedly supports the rights of women, gays and lesbians, and people of color.
  • Al Gore and the rest of the Democratic Party are evil and self-serving.
  • George W. Bush and the rest of the Republican Party are evil and self-serving.
  • Libertarians eat babies.
If you don’t believe me, read this fine article at the Z Magazine web site.

I shouldn’t even have to say any of this, but it’s obviously necessary since “hairy” is tied with “vader” in the No Future poll. If “hairy” can dance and kill, I guess that’s alright, though.