love conquers all. no, wait. love sues universal.
this story will be a disappointment after you make the grumpy cat dance, i mean, anything would, but give it a minute. as you all know, big record companies are evil, napster users are thieves, and everybody is suing everybody all the time everywhere, while spaceship no future remains totally blameless and innocent like a tiny kitten (see fig. 1). so i’ll just dive right in like you know exactly what i’m talking about and agree with me unreservedly. universal music group (big record company) sued mp3.com (cannonfodder for new technology lawsuits) for letting people (thieves) download mp3s of universal music acts (booty). universal did this loudly and righteously in the name of their artists, and may be awarded a large sum of money for being super-blustery and coincidentally, filthy rich. courtney love, one of their artists, cynically believes that should universal get this large sum of money, most likely the artists in whose name it was fought for won’t see a penny of it. so, she’s calling universal out on the carpet in the language of today’s hip celebrity: legal action. this makes me laugh and clap and i also want you to laugh and clap. yay courtney love.